


Heart to Heart

by shutupmulder



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Late night thoughts, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 00:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupmulder/pseuds/shutupmulder
Summary: ”Have you ever thought about having kids?” He asked her out of the blue one night and he could feel her body tense against him.





	Heart to Heart

”Have you ever thought about having kids?” He asked her out of the blue one night and he could feel her body tense against him. Placing a gentle kiss to her neck to make her relax, he felt her turn in his arms to look at him. 

Deciding it is best to share his own thoughts first, he took a deep breath. 

”I’m older than you. Too old for kids. Though, it’s not just because of my age that I don’t want to have children. I couldn’t do it, not with everything that I have done that could come back to haunt me. However, you are younger than me and we haven’t really talked about it.”   


Ilsa watched him in silence for a few moments. 

”I don’t want kids either. I made that decision some time ago. And you’re not that much older than me, but it doesn’t exactly have to do with age for me. Obviously, I have pissed off some bad people, as well. Even if I quit, I would never truly be safe so how could I keep my loved ones safe?”

Stroking his hand gently up and down her back, he gave her a gentle smile. 

”Where did this come from, Ethan?” She returned with a smile if her own. 

”Well, it’s just.. during the mission in Pakistan. When I saw you take care of that frightened little girl after the explosion. I couldn’t take my eyes off you for a few seconds. You were so gentle and caring, making the small child feel safe even if just for a few minutes. It just got me thinking.” 

Ilsa hummed and placed a light kiss to his mouth. 

”I like children, though.” Ethan spoke. ”I mean, maybe not to spend my entire day with them, but sometimes it’s nice to just.. be with kids?” He furrowed his brows slightly. ”Like holding a tiny baby, it’s an alien feeling yet exciting. And it does make you take your mind off things.” He smiled almost to himself. 

Ilsa nodded, agreeing with him. 

”Had I chosen another life then maybe..” he sighed. ”It would have been fun to know what it would feel like to have kids.” He finished, looking at her with an almost woeful expression on his face. 

”I’m sure you would have been a great father, Ethan.” Stroking his cheek gently with her hand, she gave him an encouraging smile. ”Your passion and devotion for everyone you love… you would really have been a great father.” 

Giving her a thankful smile, he pressed his mouth against hers and they enjoyed the moment, lazily exploring each other’s mouths before Ethan pulled back. Ilsa could tell there was something more on his mind and she waited patiently for him to speak. 

”So are you going to give me an answer to the question that you so gracefully sidestepped?” 

Of course, he noticed and would not let it slide. She had told him  _ why  _ she would not bring a child into this world but not if she  _ wanted  _ to. 

Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath. 

”Well, no, I don’t think I would have wanted children. Not only can I not see myself as a mother, but it just doesn’t feel right?” She bit her lip, thinking, and Ethan’s eyes briefly followed her movements before meeting her eyes again. ”Of course, it is hard to tell how much seeing myself as a parent has affected me by how I’ve lived my life and what I have done. But no, I doubt it.” 

”Thank you for sharing that with me.” His fingers gently combed through her hair as he smiled almost proudly at her. ”It is not the easiest thing to admit. I hate that the messed up society we live in weirdly thinks it would somehow be wrong to not wish to have kids.” 

”Mm,” Ilsa agreed and felt warm inside by his wise and comforting words.

Ethan closed his eyes for a moment, it had been a long day and the need for sleep was creeping in. 

”Did Julia want kids?” The sudden question made him open his eyes.

”I’m sorry, that was.. It is none of my business.” Ilsa had a regretful look on her face, it was obvious the words had come out of her mouth without thinking.

”It’s okay.” He placed a kiss onto her forehead before pulling back to look at her. ”No. She didn’t.” 

Ilsa swallowed, nodding. He looked at her for a few moments, trying to figure out what was on her mind.

”Ilsa, I wouldn’t change a thing. I might have wished for children at some point in my life, but it is nothing I long for now. I have all I need and I am happy.” He rubbed his nose against hers slowly, making her giggle. ”I never thought I would be this happy.”

She kissed him full on the mouth, her hand resting on his cheek. ”I love you.” She mumbled against his lips. 

”And I you.” They grinned like fools at each other in the dark. Sharing another kiss, Ilsa turned around again and she pressed her back closer to his chest as his arm enveloped her. 

After closing their eyes, soon, both agents fell asleep with a smile, thinking about how happy and lucky they were. They wouldn’t change it for the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have gotten more than one request for a baby fic. The thing is, I don't really do baby fics, for me it doesn't feel right for this pairing, and this just came to me.. 
> 
> Hope you like it. 
> 
> As always, thanks ilsafausts for the help.


End file.
